Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
