It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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