What did we do last night that was yellow?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
