did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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