We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
