For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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