best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
