im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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