I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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