Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i think i just lost a toe
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
