thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
