Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
