WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
