no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
