I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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