I'm going to jail i love you
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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