margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize