I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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