the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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