and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
