He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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