You smell like a Billy Joel song
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
