I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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