Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
