I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
