Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
