I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
