Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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