He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cockslap morals
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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