Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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