She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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