So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize