I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
