yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She even gives head with a lisp.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
