just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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