my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
