Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
