there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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