and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
third nipple confirmed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
