Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
