we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
