I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
