Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
