and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
