you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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