I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
