So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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