Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
