Whod you bang
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize