That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
COCAINE IS GR8
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
