i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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