you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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