WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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