Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
