this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will be naked everywhere
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
