Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
