Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
