you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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