My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
