i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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