her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
