Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize