I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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